Accountability…

I will openly vent my thoughts (at least most of them) and opinions and certainly life experiences (I’ve unfortunately had too many I’d like to “unhave” if that were possible!) with anyone who wants to know them and with those of you willing to read my rants on here. However, I’m not very willing to be “open” about me personally - at least not when it comes to my actual physical self or true vulnerability. Maybe that comes from growing up in a family that was always “in the public eye” and scrutinized constantly. I don’t really know. What I do know is I don’t like people to see my vulnerability. My close friends will constantly here me complain or point out my flaws :) but that’s about it! Well with tonight’s post I guess that’s going to change a bit…don’t worry - only in one small way! :)

My sister-in-law, Kiley, is getting married this fall. I know what you’re thinking - what does one have to do with the other right? Well, she has so kindly included me with her sisters as one of her bridesmaids. When she asked I was THRILLED and HONORED. Now that reality has sunk in and we girls have been combing the internet for dress possibilities … I’m PETRIFIED! I am no longer the size I was when I was 17. The body of a 17 year old has come and gone and all but disappeared completely over the last 10+ years! I’ve had 2 kids (one of which I carried to almost full-term in the HEAT of summer with my preeclampsia swelling EVERY inch of me.

My husband’s family is what you would call blessed(he has 5 sisters)! They are all pencil thin and gorgeous! I would kill (okay maybe not literally) for their arms & waists! And now I’m going to be photographed with them in matching or at least similar dresses…meaning its time to WORK OUT baby! So that’s exactly what we’re going/or have begun to do. Micah & I have both committed to helping each other get “fit” and lose weight! (Yep I know I’m crazy--he’ll lose it & I’ll gain it & that’s about all I expect to happen!)

So we’ve been doing exercises together & have started running/walking every other night for the past week. This is the part that kills me! I can do sit ups, push ups, stretches, etc like about anyone else. Running on the other hand…not so much. I can walk. That’s easy. But run? I’d rather be pregnant! (and I throw up for 20 of the 24 hrs in a day for the first 20 some weeks or so when I’m pregnant) But so far every other night I get my lazy butt up and run a short distance and I feel like my lungs are collapsing as we attempt to run down our road! Each time we make it to a certain mailbox & then walk the rest of the way and trust me, its not very far.

Tonight however, I made it all the way to the stop sign. For you runners out there you may start laughing right now, I won’t feel too bad! :) I realize that’s not far. But for me -- lets just say I’m lucky there are 35mph winds right now with gusts up to 50mph…I was able to “blow” to the stop sign -- even if it felt like I should have had an ambulance stretcher pick me up when I reached the highway! :) Now my only question is: “Does this mean I can take the rest of this week off?” :)

Since I’ve shared this now, I guess this means you can all be held responsible to help me with my accountability! Just don’t be surprised if you don’t notice any physical changes to me -- most likely the only change will be the number of hospital visits I make this year!