So this morning I was watching my niece & nephew and all the kids were playing nicely up in Alexa’s room during Logan’s nap. I took full advantage of the alone time & turned the TV from PBS to the Today show just to check out what normal grown up TV is like. :)
In doing so I discovered a segment on “All the Single Ladies” and how the new trend in America is for adults to stay single instead of getting married. Something was said about record breaking statistics and all that but I didn’t really pay too close of attention. My gut reaction while watching was to feel like marriage was under attack and to think that its probably because of 2 things - 1 being that its much more acceptable and common for women to have children outside of marriage now then it ever was before and 2 being that there’s a much higher rate of divorce than ever before. At first I justified the story in my head by saying that not everyone has to or needs to get married and that even Paul spoke of those, like himself, who were called to live life single.
But what really happened was it got me thinking about what drives our world, our culture, and our lives. I believe its all rooted in selfishness.
I am in no way saying that marriage is the only answer for every person in the world. However, the Bible clearly states that our purpose on this earth is to be fruitful and multiply. How can we do that if we do not marry? I know the world will immediately state that you don’t need to be married to have sex & therefore to have children -and now-a-days sex isn’t even required in order to “make” a baby. However, I don’t agree with the world on those points. If you ask me, the Bible is very clear on how sexual relations are to be kept in the marriage bed. Therefore, if you aren’t married you shouldn’t be having sex. Simple as that. I could go on with that subject but I won’t.
Our world is daily becoming more & more selfish, self-involved, and self-obsessed. No wonder there’s so much violence, crime, murder, envy, slander, and the list could go on & on. Basically the sins in the world around us that once were viewed as evil are more and more being viewed as acceptable. Its okay to lie as long as you gain from it. Its okay to cheat (commit adultery) as long as you were following your heart and in love. Its okay to murder someone as long as you had just cause/reason. Its okay to dishonor your mother & father as long as they weren’t making you happy or meeting your needs. Its okay to steal if its not “hurting” anybody and its benefitting your needs. After all, aren’t all those people who live entirely off the government essentially stealing each day from the hard-working men & women who pay taxes? These are all rooted in selfishness.
We are a country who are obsessed with self. No wonder we find a story on the TV about how women don’t need to be married & have children to be fulfilled - they can pursue their dreams, their careers and whatever else they want without having to put everyone (husband & children) else’s needs above their own. After all, isn’t that the essential calling of being a wife and of being a mother? To marry someone isn’t just taking their last name and moving in together, its the dying of one’s self to be joined with another & the 2 shall be made 1 flesh. But that’s not what our culture tries to tell us anymore. Granted, you do not need to be married or have children in order to be happy, I know many who would love to be a wife or a mother but can not. That doesn’t mean they can’t be happy.
What I am saying is that to be a wife & mother, in my opinion, is a daily reminder of how Christ SELFLESSLY gave himself for us. He was completely without sin and yet he paid the price for every last one of my sins. That is 100% selfless. That is what we are to strive for each and every day.
How hard is it to remember that? I don’t know about any of you, but for me, it is a daily struggle. Everything around me tries to tempt me to think “what about me,” “what about my needs?” Instead we are called to put the needs, wants, desires, dreams, hopes, and cares of our loved ones above our own. Not simply as wives and mothers, but as Christians.
As I strive to train my children in the way the Lord wants them to go I have been working very hard at tending to their hearts & paying attention to what is driving their behavior instead of just the behavior itself. Its been a very eye-opening experience as I sit repeatedly throughout the day telling my 3 year old to ignore her selfish desires and think of her brother’s, her friend’s, or her cousin’s needs before her own. As I find them fighting over a toy & I ask her whether its more important that she make her brother happy or that she get what she wants I can’t help but think to myself how often I choose the wrong answer. Instead of doing everything I can to make my loved ones happy I so often find myself thinking “when will it be ME time” or thinking about how tired I am and when it will be someone else’s turn to do all the work while I sit back & be catered to.
How selfish is our world? In my opinion - VERY! And if you ask me, selfishness is what is at the root of every real problem we have. When a person murders someone, they are choosing their own desire over the other person’s life. When a person commits adultery, they are choosing their pleasure or wants above their spouse’s feelings and above so many other things. When a person lies, its always a choice of their own selfish needs and desires instead of the other person’s.
Ultimately Christ choose us over himself in the biggest, grandest way. It is our job to daily do the same in every way we can, no matter how hard it is.
I’ll jump off my little soapbox now. I just wanted to vent the thoughts in my head. They are my thoughts, my opinions. I’m not in any way saying you have to agree with them. I just felt like voicing them.
