Wow, so the time has come. After months of thinking about it, talking about it, planning for it, and preparing for it the time has finally come! My mother is officially on her way back to the US! Her stuff all arrived on Tuesday & she'll be arriving tomorrow night! :)
For those of you that know me really well, you know that this has been something I have longed for, prayed for, wished for, and hoped for many many times over the last 7 years. However, it is very bitter-sweet. I found myself unable to sleep tonight & so I began to write...if this doesn't make much sense I'm sorry! ;) - In 100% honesty, I wanted this so badly I could taste it, and now it not only is something I am totally looking forward to, but something that scares me to the core.
I LOVE my mom. She is an amazing woman. All my life she has poured herself into being the best mother, wife, and preacher's wife she could ever be, and let me tell you, she topped the charts! Talk about a woman that could handle/manage 5 children, a busy church calendar, be always ready for guests & entertaining, and keep a perfectly clean and presentable house -- that's amazing to me! Memories of my childhood involve no frozen meals (no matter how much we begged because they seemed so special) but always home-cooked meals, baked goodies, and tons of games and fun. As we got older things turned from children's games to card games and stimulating conversations. I still remember coming home from college my freshman year to have "coffee" with my parents every chance I got!
Then why am I scared? Because that's the life/memories/dream I have...having that simple, safe, "perfect" feeling back again. For the past 7 years that is what I've wanted back (and my parents of course)... you know the age old saying..."be careful what you wish for"...its because how you end up getting your wish to come true may sometimes (and usually does) come at too high a cost/price! As much as I am longing for my Mom to be here...it makes me miss my Dad more and more.
After a bunch of wonderful people came and helped unload the 53 foot semi which brought my Mom's stuff here from Lethbridge, Sarah and I were left with the unreal task of organizing and unpacking it before Mom sees it and falls over - - (there is stuff EVERYWHERE, from in the house, to in the unfinished basement, to stacked and piled all over the 3-stall garage that Mom & Sarah & Jason share... which no longer fits a single car in it...
As we began unpacking over 30 years worth of stuff, memories came flooding back. Things I literally haven't seen in years have surfaced, from favorite mugs (which we now wonder why we even liked!) to egg holders to magnets and on and on. Its been great to see it all and cherish it, tell stories about it and laugh over it. However, as I lay awake tonight, I can't seem to get the memories out of my mind and instead of laughing, I find myself getting sad and then worse yet getting mad. Its awful but I keep having to resist the urge to yell and scream and throw a hissy-fit like a little child - - this was not the way my wish was supposed to come true!
All in all - I'm a grown up now (whether I like it or not) and I've accepted things are the way they are. Doesn't mean I have to like it all the time, but its life. So if you're looking for me over the next few days, weeks, well, better make that months, come to my Mom's house & weave your way through the maze of boxes...better yet - bring your wallet & make an offer if you see something you like! :)
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