So I’ve been thinking a lot lately about people who feel the need to judge others. I’m the kind of person who is rather opinionated on many topics and subjects but yet feels that to each their own is the way to live. What I believe and what works for me is not going to be the way everyone thinks/feels/believes and that’s okay with me. I certainly don’t claim to have all the answers & I’m sure I won’t get life “perfect” but at least I know I’m trying my best – my best to live life according to the instructions the Lord has given us so that every moment of our lives we can give praise & glory to Him.
Lets take the topic of alcohol for example. I know several people who have made it perfectly clear that no alcohol is allowed in their home & that it is purely evil to have it. They happen to believe/think that if they allow it in their home or in the presence of their children then they are being horrible parents by setting an example that the only way to have fun is when alcohol is involved. I don’t agree with that. I happen to think its going to the extreme. Although I agree with what they’re trying to teach, I happen to think that if they choose to live that way its fine if it works for them, but I don’t think it works for my family and/or every family.
If we would do that, I believe that it might actually be harmful to my children. In my opinion, I would be sheltering them to the point that they will view alcohol not simply as another beverage choice when thirsty but instead as this forbidden fruit that is ‘super’ fun. Its my fear (& I have actually seen this happen in several people I’ve known to grow up in homes like that) that the children shown that “example” will actually grow up craving it, wanting it, and when the finally “break free” and have it, they will know nothing about moderation, responsibility and self-control. Instead once they have that first taste they’ll often be unable or un-inclined to stop. So it will lead to drunkenness (which is clearly spoken against in the Bible) and other sinfulness.
I happen to think that when a child is raised in a home where alcohol is permitted but only according to the laws/rules/regulations & only in moderation, you set a better example for your child by showing that it is not some “forbidden fruit” but rather a mere choice in beverage, an option that allows you to unwind or relax with something refreshing. I would like to hear those who believe that having it around children is setting a horrible example tell me what they think or feel about Jesus turning water into wine and the Bible talking about drinking it. I happen to think having a glass of wine with dinner or a beverage after work or with snacks while relaxing at home not only does not set a bad example but instead sets a good example of how to know, have, and set limitations, moderation, and self-control.
I can think of one person for example who was not allowed to watch movies other than very good G ones; was not allowed to eat sweets; and never had any alcohol in their home. What happened when the individual left home? That person became what you could call a sugar addict who can NEVER turn down a sweet & certainly can’t stop at only having one; and who, when having one drink, has no ability to stop & limit themself and instead has way too many and watches all sorts of movies and is completely oblivious to any impact they may have on their mind/life because they were never taught to watch movies with a discerning mind/perspective.
I’m not saying one way is right and another is wrong. I certainly don’t have all the answers & this a debate I’m sure I wouldn’t win with many people. But what I am saying is that while I think there are positives AND negatives to both sides, I do not feel you can make the judgment that one parent is ruining their child by living one way, while another is raising the perfect child. Each child is an individual and is going to react differently to each environment. I truly think you can’t say that there is one way that works for everyone. You do the best you can & in the end, when the children become adults, they ultimately will make their own decisions regardless.
I also don’t think if you choose either way you’ll come up with the same results as others who chose that way. I believe the biggest difference comes in the approach and the explanation. Yes there is something to be said for teaching children that you do not need alcohol for fun, that too much sugar is bad (funny how those same people saying no to alcohol & sweets arent’ saying no to pop) and that movies can be dangerous to watch. But I think there are other ways to teach those principles then to need to abstain completely & outlaw it.
Just the ramblings of my mind – take them for what their worth (next to nothing)! Just remember that just because you view life one way, doesn’t mean everyone does & that’s okay – as long as you don’t go and insult other people’s opinions/way of life without at least hearing them out first.
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